Johny Jump Up - Gaelic Storm

I went in to the barman, I said give me a stout,

says the barman, I'm sorry all the beer 'twas sold out.

Try whiskey or vodka, ten years in the wood,

says I, I'll try cider, I've heard that it's good.

After lowering the third I headed straight for the yard,

where I bumped into Brophy the big civic guard.

Come here to me boy, don't you know I'm the law,

well I upped with my fist and I shattered his jaw.

He fell to the ground with his knees doubled up,

wish it wasn't I hit him, for the Johnny Jump Up.

And the next thing I met down in Youghal by the Sea

was a cripple on crutches, and says he to me,

I'm afraid of me life I'll be hit by a car,

would you help me across to the Railwayman's Bar.

And after three pints of the cider so sweet,

he threw down his crutches and he danced at his feet.

Now I went up the Lee road a friend for to see,

they call it the Madhouse in Cork by the Lee.

But when I got up there, the truth I do tell,

they had the poor bugger locked up in his cell.

Says the guard testing him, say these words if you can,

'Around the rugged rocks the ragged rascal ran'.

Tell them I'm not crazy, tell them I'm not mad,

'twas only six pints of that cider I had.

Now a man died in the Union by the name of McNabb,

they washed him and placed him outside on a slab.

And after the coroner his measurements did take,

his wife took him home to a bloody fine wake.

'Twas about twelve o'clock and the beer it was high,

the corpse he sat up and he says with a sigh,

I can't get to heaven, they won't let me up

till I bring them a pint of the Johnny Jump Up.